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Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Mute Tennis


Yes, that's right you blood-thirsty perverts who watch women's tennis for the sole satisfaction of their slightly-too-audible grunts. Tennis umpires may soon allow the opponent a point if the other player's grunts hinder their abilities to perform. However, this may change in the near future; umpires may force the offender to forfeit a whole match or game.

This spells trouble to the most famous, or infamous, offender: Maria Sharapova. According to comcast.net, her "grunt" sounds off at 101 decibels, louder than a snowmobile or motorcycle (100dB), and only 9 dB less than a chain saw (110 decibels). However, Maria claims, "Players grunt because it helps them release energy and keep focused." She also stated that, "it is something that they do naturally...[not] something that is done deliberately to hurt their opponents." Sharapova could have probably used that energy to beat Dominika Cibulcova, who hasn't ever advanced to the finals of a major, in this year's French Open. I mean, if a fan more than whispers in the middle of a point, he gets kicked out because it's distracting for the players. But as long as your on the court it's okay to rev up a chopper. Sometimes when I watch tennis, I cannot even concentrate on the match because of the unsolicited grunts. So, deservedly so, I say gruntng should be banned from tennis, and any offender should be punished by a forfeited match.

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