Fines for Philanthropy

Here’s a little known fact for you: all that money professional athletes get fined for bad-mouthing refs, on-field violence, obscene gestures, etc. doesn’t just make its way into the pockets of league executives. It goes to charity. Here’s a question for you: what has this world come to that donating a fraction of one’s salary to charity has become a punishment? Let me get this straight, if Chad Ochocinco has to donate $5,000 to charity, he has to make it worth his while and putt the football with the pylon? Now, I understand that taking away a greedy player’s money is one of the only ways to punish the player himself without punishing his whole team (i.e. don’t suspend him). And I guess it makes sense that league officials don’t tell fans where the money is going. Then superstars wouldn’t feel so bad about their poor conduct. (“Yeah, I gave the entire stadium the middle finger, but I did it for UNICEF!”) That’s the last thing we want to hear.

Here’s an idea: make certain fineable acts out to be some sort of contest, and whoever wins—by doing the most creative touchdown dance, by dishing out the best trash talk, whatever—will have the biggest portion of their salary donated to charity. Superstar athletes should be setting aside part of their salary for charity anyway—this is simply a way to make it more public and more interesting. Then, Ochocinco wouldn’t really be viewed as a cocky jerk, out to make himself look good with his post-TD cavorting; we could appreciate his showboating both for its pure entertainment, and because it will end up benefiting some foundation. (Notice that not included in the ways to “win” is who can be most disrespectful to the referees, or who can charge the mound the most often; these acts are either offensive or set a poor example for children who look up to professional athletes as role models.) Now, some might say that excessive celebrations give children the wrong idea about sportsmanship. But I think that, until they actually get to take part in this altruistic competition, it’s up to youth coaches to steer young athletes in the right direction; to explain that, while dancing in the end zone, T.O. wasn’t just expressing himself, he was being the humanitarian all athletes should be; and unless this enthusiastic Pop Warner kid wants to hand over his wallet to his coach so he can drop it off at the local hospital, he better cut out his skylarking. As long as this idea doesn’t interfere with the way the game is played, I don’t see anything wrong with it. Professional sports is entertainment. There’s no disputing that. Wouldn’t this philanthropic play contribute to making watching sports more entertaining?